You have often heard me teach. Now I want you to tell these same things to followers who can be trusted to tell others.
-- 2 Tim. 2:2
It was already dark when Aaron walked outside, headed for the outhouse at his family's summer beach cottage. He lit a candle for light, then dropped the match down the hole. What he didn't know was that someone had used a pail of gasoline to clean a lawnmower engine earlier in the day and had dumped the mixture down the hole. The out-house was full of gas fumes, and the smoldering match ignited them. The fireball engulfed Aaron, singeing all the hair off his face and giving him second- and third-degree burns.
The cottage was more than two hours away from the nearest hospital. So the police led Aaron and his family on a high speed race to the emergency room. Less than five minutes from the hospital, Aaron summoned his strength, turned to his mom and said, "You've got to phone some of our friends from church immediately when we get there and ask them to get a prayer chain going. And don't forget to call Erv and tell him what happened."
Erv had been Aaron's mentor for two years. They'd spent countless hours together fishing, boating, ice-skating, going to hockey games, and eating fast food. Even though it was 1 a.m., Aaron knew Erv would want to know. In fact, he was certain that Erv would be at the hospital as soon as he heard about the accident.
Aaron was right. Erv came to see him every day in his hospital room. And as Aaron's burns slowly healed over the next six months, Erv often visited him at home to play cards or watch movies. The two met through a mentoring program sponsored by their church's youth group. Through the program, they met once a month for an activity or conversation. Erv's loving commitment forever affected Aaron's spiritual growth.
Advantages of Mentor-Driven Youth Ministry
Program-driven approaches to youth ministry are having trouble competing with the entertainment options now available to kids. Fun events, special trips, and inspiring speakers just can't match a mentor driven strategy for affecting today's teenagers. Why? Because mentoring is unabashedly relationship-focused, and kids crave authentic relationships. In a mentor-driven youth ministry, all programs are merely contexts for building relationships between adults and young people.
A mentor-driven approach may or may not translate into a formal program. Some of the best mentoring relationships happen naturally when the chemistry between a teenager and an adult is just right -- when common interests or compatible personalities make getting together fun and powerful.
It's hard to imagine effective youth ministry without a mentoring component. And the Bible agrees. Paul encouraged Timothy to grow in his faith, helped him develop his ministry gifts, and supported him when he stepped into leadership. A person will always beat a program in meeting a young person's changing needs.
For adults used to a program-oriented youth ministry, a mentoring strategy will require a crucial mental shift. They'll need to learn how to see kids' potential and invest in helping them reach it. That will take time, energy, and patience. And it will require something less tangible: a determined belief that they have the ability to give something valuable to young people. That means they've experienced life and leaned from it. They know how to encourage others' spiritual growth because they've experienced that encouragement themselves.
The Four Levels of Mentoring
Jesus limited his intensive mentoring to 12 disciples, even though he mentored many others in less intensive ways (for example, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus). Likewise, I think there are four primary roles mentors play that reflect different levels of involvement -- from light to less intensive.
Role model. To be a role model, you must be known. And to be known, you must relate to kids in natural, relaxed environments. That means having fun together, enjoying common experiences, and talking openly about issues that surface. It's possible to mentor many young people simply by being yourself. Role models impact others by the way they live out their faith, make decisions, express their beliefs, or show concern for others.
Guarantor. A guarantor is someone who has gone before -- one who "swims across the lake and shouts encouragement from the other side." A guarantor focuses on creating a safe place for others to share their struggles, doubts, and questions. Personal sharing is at the heart of this kind of mentoring. Guarantors must be willing to vulnerably share something from their past that might be helpful to others in the present.
Spiritual friend. In the role of a spiritual friend, a mentor can help young people clarify their thinking about faith issues. How? By asking kids penetrating questions and listening for their crucial questions. Both the mentor and the mentee expect to talk about spiritual issues, so the questioning process doesn't seem intrusive or inappropriate.
Spiritual guide. Spiritual guidance is the most intensive mentor role because it requires an adult who's willing and able to stimulate and nurture a young person's growing relationship with Christ. A mentor who's a spiritual guide is more directive than a spiritual friend, and the relationship will likely have more structure than any of the other mentor roles. The two might study the Bible together or develop a level of spiritual accountability that challenges the young person to grow in Christ.
To the extent that mentoring becomes a central strategy for youth ministry in your church, you'll see young people empowered for life and ministry. Adult mentors are vital for passing on the faith to the next generation.
Abe Bergen serves as director of youth ministry for the General Conference Mennonite Church. This first appeared as an article in Group Magazine. For more information, you can access their website at www.groupmag.com.
